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You know things are out of control when the Burg-Al-Arab starts to seem like a bargain. The Dubai hotel, designed in the shape of a sail billowing over Jumeirah Beach, has long been considered the model of ultra-luxury for those who desire an over-the-top lodging experience. If you want to impress your in-laws, you can book the Burg-Al-Arab’s marble-and-gold-filled Royal Suite, which comes complete with a dining room for 12, a library, a cinema room, and a team of butlers to cater to your every whim. The tab: approximately $24,000 a night.

That price pales in comparison with the rates at the Royal Penthouse Suite at the Hotel President Wilson in Geneva, which will run you slightly over $83,000 a night. The suite, which takes up the entire top floor of the hotel, includes 12 rooms, 12 bathrooms, a private gym, and a Steinway grand piano just in case you need to practice some scales. If you’re a controversial head of state who needs armored security, you’ll appreciate the suite’s private elevator and bulletproof windows and doors.

Looking for something a little less pricey? Try one of the three antique-and-art-filled Royal Suites at the Four Seasons George V in Paris(average price per night: $30,000) or the Presidential Suite at the St. Regis in New York City (starting at $35,000 a night). Most suites at this price level come with the option of a private chef to cook all of your meals and plenty of other concierge services, but be sure to read the fine print on your contract: believe it or not, the
St. Regis’s five-figure tab doesn’t cover alcohol from the minibar.